New year

Tomorrow is going to be the 18th day of 2014! That is craziness! Already this year I have celebrated two birthdays, gone through a week of finals with A's in both of my classes, and applied to be a tutor. Soon to come, I will be heading to Nebraska to spend a week with my best friend and then starting my fourth term in this journey to become a nurse. So much is happening already this year and it feels great! 

At the moment I am reading a book entitled "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...And it's All Small Stuff." I am working through it slowly and am currently stuck on the chapter about not interrupting people. Now, this one obviously seems like a no brainer, right? It is rude to interrupt someone when they are talking, right? But, honestly, until I read that chapter and then was consciously aware of my conversations, I had no idea how many times I interrupt people when talking to someone. 

You might be thinking "oh, well, she's rude and should learn some manners," but that's not the whole picture. I'm not interrupting someone on purpose! I'm trying to contribute to the conversation! 

My book told me that interrupting while someone is speaking is ourselves either consciously or subconsciously trying to speed the conversation along. But, if we were to take the time to let someone get their thoughts out, the conversation would flow so much better. 

Still working on this one...

Big money...

I had an appointment with the financial aid office at my school today to discuss my tuition and loans for this upcoming academic year starting in April 2014.  Usually, talking about such big money (about 137,000 dollars) really freaks me out! But, today as I sat there talking about what my options were to pay my remaining bill, I was surprisingly calm.

Something I have really learned this past year is that money is only money.  Money comes and goes.  Nothing good comes about from hoarding large sums of money.  When you die, you will NOT take it with you.

Don't get me wrong, I think being financially intelligent and not spending money frivolously is the right way to go.  I am all about investing and paying your bills on time.  I have a savings plan that I add into all the time.

What I'm saying is, there is no real reason to be stressed about money.  Stress has major impact on one's health and life expectancy. Stress damages your heart, your brain, your skin....the list goes on and on.

Whatever happens is going to happen and most of the time there is nothing you can do about it, and if there is something you can do about it, then do it.  Its that simple.  My theory is do your best everyday, do what you are supposed to do, and then hope everything works out because you've put in the work to make it so.  And then, if it doesn't put in the work to make it right again.

Deep thoughts for a Thursday...but I was inspired when on my way home from my financial aid appointment I saw a major car crash.  All I could think was "things could be SO much worse..." then my financial worries for the future.  I am healthy, my husband and my family and all the people I care about are healthy.  Life is good.    

So far...

Feeling very tired today but despite the sleepiness, 2014 has started off extremely well. I've had the opportunity to spend time with my husband and his family and with friends. I've had the opportunity to do a lot of relaxing despite having finals coming up. I've had the opportunity to be there for a friend when they truly needed it...

I'd say that 2014 is shaping up to be a great year and it's only the fifth day in!  I've learned a lot about patience so far (because I locked myself out of my apartment), about the importance of rest, and the need for trying new things. 

So, for the rest of 2014, I say "bring it on!"

Bye bye 2013...hello 2014

2013 has been a great year! A LOT has happened in just 12 short months. I've traveled to Santa Cruz, San Francisco, Santa Barbara, Long Beach, and Nebraska. I've celebrated my 21st birthday, my two year anniversary, the birth of my adorable nephew, and my wedding. I've laughed and cried and been angry so many times. I started college for the second time. I bought a new car.  I made some pretty amazing friends. I've grown closer to friends I've already had. I have made life changing decisions and life changing mistakes. I've been right and been wrong. I've struggled and excelled.  

I have done many things this year but in 2014 I want to do more. This does not mean that I am going to work myself to the bone but instead, that I want to better myself. I want to become more peaceful. I want to learn to be satisfied. I want to learn the true nature of patience. I want to meet more people and learn their stories. I want to develop more bonds and put myself out there more. 

I have a feeling that 2014 is going to be awesome. And something that I'm learning is that your attitude impacts your reality. So, I'm sure this year will a great. 

The "Small Stuff"

I am beginning to learn some tough lessons but ones that I think are truly necessary for growth and positive change in my life. 

I am moody...bitchy...rude...hard to get along with and annoying. I blow things out of proportion and let the littlest of things ruin my day. I make a fool of myself often. I play the victim. I make my problems seem like I am the only person in the world they are happening to. I complain and whine. I am needlessly cold to strangers and acquaintances alike. I convince myself that all people are awful...they are the problem...not me. I am stubborn and very opinionated. I form condescending thoughts instantly upon meeting someone or laying eyes on something I don't approve of. I think the very worst of people who have given me no reason to. 

I can be a truly horrible person on a regular basis all because I let the smallest of things bother me so much. I let things build up in my mind so much that I become a crazy angry ball of rage. I really do not like this part of me. I wish I felt I had more control over it but it feels so out of control all the time! 

I have done a lot of thinking about methods to fix this growing problem and have thought of a few things that may help. I am excited to give them a shot! 

1. I am going to wake up early enough to have breakfast and to take my time getting ready in the morning before work. 

This should give me a chance to wake up before heading to work and hopefully give me a positive start to my day. 

2. I am going to start doing things that I love to do. I love going to get my nails done. And I love going to places and just people watching. And I love reading all kinds of books. These are some things that I have lost sight of and things that I would really love to get back to. 

3. I am going to start taking yoga classes. Hopefully meditation and stress release will bring my mind peace and give me a fresh new outlook on life. 

With a new year almost upon me, I think it is time to make these changes in my life. I am working on a New Years resolution list that will include some other important changes but this topic is the biggest in my life so far. 

What I am thankful for...

This Thanksgiving I started the day a little down. My family is mostly all six hours away from me and I was stuck in LA working without them. For the few days before the holiday I even told my husband that this year just didn't feel like Thanksgiving. Usually my family would start doing all the prepping a week or two in advance. We would all decide who was making what and when we would all meet up. It's usually really exciting. We will all relax on the day of and watch the Thanksgiving Day Parade on tv. 

But this year, we didn't do any of that. So, my heart was heavy on Thanksgiving. 

That was, until, I took the time to look around me. I saw the relationships I had made here in LA that weren't family but had become my family over the years. Even though my blood family was 350 miles away, I was still surrounded by love and affection here in the valley. 

So, I learned something particularly valuable this Thanksgiving...I learned that your family is what you make it. In this big, crazy world it is silly to think that everything will always work out perfectly and everyone will be able to spend every holiday with family. And it is in those times that you learn to forge additional family members with the people you come in contact with everyday. 

So, to wrap this long rambling post up...this year is learned that I am not only thankful for my family but I am also thankful for my LA family who always remind me how loved and cherished I am. Additonally, I am thankful for my marriage gained family whom I have come to love so much. They have become permanent fixtures in my life and I couldn't imagine life without them. 

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! 

Life is tough every once in a while

It has been a while since I've posted anything. I have good reason though. In the past couple weeks I had the majority of my family in town for one of the biggest days of my life. I got married! 

It was beautiful and amazing and I'll never forget any moment of it. 

One thing I wish I could forget though is how it felt when my family had to go home. Don't get me wrong, I have a great life here in the valley with my husband and our cat, Oliver. But, being without your family close by is hard. 

Tonight is one of those nights when my heart is aching for my family. I want to be near them. I want to be able to hold my nephew and play with my nieces. I want to go get my nails done with my new found sister in law. Between school and work, days to go see them are few and far between. 

I will be fine. Life will go on. But I can't help but feel like there lives will pass me by. One day I will wake up and my newborn nephew will be 5 and then 12 and then 18 and I will have missed it. 

How do I make time for people so far away?