The Past

It's really easy to let your past define you. All of us have issues...cracks, breaks, scratches, dings--whatever. We all have had heart breaks. We have had our worlds rocked and sometimes shattered. We have all lost someone either through death or from lack of familiarity. We have all fought for things we know to be true and all of us have also lost many of those battles. 

When I think about my past there is a lot that comes to mind. I grew up in an rv park in not the best part of town. My mobile home didn't have marble floors or fine china in the kitchen. I didn't wear the latest fashions. We didn't even have a shower. To shower we walked down the street to the shower room. However, my home had me, my mom, my dad, and my brother, Michael. It also had a lot of pets. Somehow, despite their differences, my parents made it work for the entirety of my childhood. It wasn't until I graduated that they got divorced. My dad used up his social security benefits sending me to a pretentious school that gave me the skill and knowledge to succeed in any sort of academic pursuit. I learned quickly that money is not everything. Money does not produce happiness. Actually, most of the people I knew in high school who seemed to have everything were awful people. They were rude and mean.  They were cruel and I had to take time after graduation to sort through my feelings about that.  Even my parents' bosses, who had more money than I could ever even know what to do with, were the worst people I had ever met. They taught me that respect should not just be freely given. Respect is earned. Just because you are older than me or have more money than me doesn't make you a respectable person. Actually, in my experience, it usually means you're an asshole. 

Because of my past...because of the things that I've been through--the things I have witnessed, I have developed into someone I am proud to be. I am compassionate to a fault. I don't let people push me around. I fight for those I care about. I listen to anyone who needs a friend. Because of my failures and my triumphs I have ended up where I am today. I have met beautiful people who are a thousand times better than those people in high school. These people are not perfect and the best part is that they don't pretend to be! I don't feel embarrassed to be myself around them because they know who I am. They have seen me at my lowest points and at my highest. 

Because of my past...I have learned that all that matters is you. We get one shot at this life. Why not make it the biggest and greatest life imaginable? Why not be the best person you can possibly be? Why not cut yourself a break and know that you will never measure up in your eyes  when you compare yourself to anyone. Why not stop comparing? Why not just forget them?  Forget all the bullshit, all the lies, the guilt, the craziness of adolescence...why not let go of the hurt, the thinking that you're not good enough for this group or not perfect enough for this clique? Every morning you wake up with a choice to be whoever you want to be! Do you want to be more productive? Then be that person. More kind? Do it. More thoughtful? More whatever! Just go do it. Don't let the past trap you from becoming who you were destined to be. The past isn't coming back. Whoever you were then and whoever you are now are two completely different people. Don't let this new person who is constantly evolving be sucked into the poisonous mindset that you're not good enough because of who you were or because of where you came from. You are capable of great things. Now, just go out and do them.