The meaning of it all...

I have just started my second term of nursing school and with that new start have had a lot of moments to stop and think about my life.  I have thought about my successes and of course my failures.  I have thought about recent events, both the good ones and the bad ones.  I have had the time to ponder over my choices: my choice to go back to school, to break off this friendship, but to maintain another.  With all of this thinking, I have often wondered, "why?"  Why did I make that choice?  I have also wondered "how?" How it got to the way it is now.... And finally I've wondered "what?"  What can I do right now to make sure that either things maintain their good path or move onto a better path in the future?

If you really think about it, each and every one of our lives is made up of choices.  For example, you chose what you were going to where today, what you were going to do today, and what you were going to say or not say to people.  Those are small choices; however, you have also chose who to keep in your life and who to give up on.  These choices that we are all making every day of our lives shape us into who we are.

Sometimes it can be really tempting to wish with all your heart that you could go back and change it all.  But really, if you think about it, the only thing you can change is who you are from this day forward.  So, I guess what I am trying to say is that the meaning of it all comes down to who you choose to be.  Your life can be meaningful and full of wonder and happy memories if you choose to make it that way.  Some of the most positive people lead trial filled lives, yet they still maintain their sense of meaning.  They somehow know that beyond what they are going through right now that life is beautiful.

In the same way, I am learning that despite what I may have chosen for myself in the past, I can choose to be different today.  I can choose to push away people's misconceptions of me and to build myself up to be whoever I want.  And when, in my pursuit to be a positive person, I fail and speak words of negativity, I can choose to not allow that misstep to define me.  I can choose to move past it and live the life I am craving.

I recently found a quote that I like quite a bit:  "If you want to be happy, be." -Unknown  I think I might be using that in my life more often to remind myself of my choices.