Be yourself

I found something on the inter web today that I thought was very profound and spoken in a way I probably would say it to someone if I had the opportunity.  I unfortunately found it while I was supposed to be studying but that's another story for a different day.  hehe

 Click on this link to go to the youtube page for the vlog I found that posted this.  The vlog is called jennamarbles and it is one that I have followed for a long time.  She is hilarious but every once in a while she posts something like this that makes me go, "yeah, I totally get that."

After watching that I started thinking about my own life and how I have learned to be myself throughout the years.  I have told many people that it wasn't until everything was stripped away that I had the "opportunity" (and I put opportunity in quotes because it was more of a bone scraping, agonizing struggle) to find out who I really am on the inside.  Like she says in the video, it is really nice to have a support group around yourself and it can become easy to rely on those things to define yourself.  However, at some point in every single person's life you have to have it all taken from you.  Your family.  Your friends.  Your money.  Every single thing that makes up who you think you are has to go in order for you to turn inward and figure it out.  I don't think that this is a one time thing.  I think it will happen throughout your life again and again; and then each time you will see exactly what makes you....you.

For example, last year my best friend and I had a major falling out.  I don't think I have ever spoken about it on here.  It was awful and probably the worst experience I have ever been through.  I felt alone and isolated from everything and everyone that I had built up around me.  I felt like a crazy person to be honest because I cried all the freaking time.  It took us quite a while to get to a point where we could talk about it (let alone talk to each other at all) and sort all the craziness out.  During that time, however, I learned so SO much about who I am as a person.  I learned to be self reliant.  I learned that I don't particularly like parties are group gatherings or anything like that.  Actually, I'd probably go a long way to avoid them.  I learned that the fact that I don't like those things is okay.  I learned who my real friends were.  I learned that I was not being the person or friend that I could be.  I learned all about what being a friend really means and how hard it is to fulfill that role all the time.  I learned that I need to (for my sanity) take time out of every day for myself--whether that is a bubble bath, a starbucks run, or just a few minutes alone lying in bed.  I need that time to decompress and be all that I can be.  I learned however dramatically that I have limits to how much I can take from one day before I emotionally combust.  I learned to listen to those warning signs and go cool off before I do.  I learned that beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am a tough, smart, and loving human being who has goals and dreams and things still left to do on this earth with or without anyone else by my side.  I now have a level of self confidence that I didn't have before.  I am by no means perfect but I trust my instincts and know that I can make it on my own.

Watch that video and reexamine your life.  As people, we are constantly changing and evolving and hopefully, bettering ourselves.  Being the best you you can be is a big part of that.