Sometimes I wonder if everyone else is like me in that when they get overwhelmed their mind basically freaks out. At the moment I am planning a wedding (24 more days), going to school full time, working, and trying to manage my time well to distribute it to family and friends. With all that said, recently, I have been extremely overwhelmed. Trying to find the balance of it all is one thing but when I have bills to pay and grades to make it can push me past my breaking point.
My fiancé told me today, when I had a moment of absolute panic (bless him), to just focus on the parts I need to get done today. It became much more manageable when I could look at it that way. Today I focused on spending time with my mom, getting a couple things done for the wedding, and doing some homework in the evening. When I could break it down into smaller more manageable chunks it was easier to digest. If I don't I end up looking at the giant pile of things I need to do (laundry, checks to write, cars to wash, people to visit and call and check in on, projects to finish, papers to write, chapters to read....AHHHHHH!) If I do that I end up crawling back into bed and saying forget it!
I have always been like that and the people closest to me have learned to tell me to break it into chunks. When I am reminded of that point I am okay. But today I became curious as to how other people do it. Do they just deal with the anxiety? Or do they not feel that anxiety at all? Do they do what I do? Or do they try to get it all done in one day? I began thinking, maybe there is a better way! Because mine only works if I can remember to do it and usually only after I have had a couple freak out moments.
I have been doing my best lately to let things go. Letting the person who cut me off go...letting the rude person at work go...letting a mistake I have made go...
It is difficult on some days. Today was one of them. I was irritable and grouchy all day. Emotionally drained. To be honest, I felt like a total lunatic for the majority of the day! One second I was okay and the next I was drowning in my panic and the next I was snapping at my cat to leave me alone.
I think what I am learning from days like this is that it happens. One bad day or two bad days or even a whole bad month doesn't mean that its all bad. It just means that its a little crazy right now. In a couple days or a few months from now it might calm down or it might be an all new kind of crazy! Who knows?! All I know is that life moves so fast. You never know what is coming. So enjoy every second of it. If you need to be grouchy for a bit, be grouchy. But then pick yourself back up and try again.
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